AAAhh! When will I ever stop being angry? You know just as my anger starts to settle and I'm not feeling so angry, someone just flares it up again. I think I'm just going to starve myself the remainder of the week, because I really don't feel like leaving my room. In an hour my clothes will be dried and then I'll pack them up with the rest of my stuff. I wish I didn't have to wait until tomorrow to leave because I'd just leave right now. Man if they could just give me the 500$ in my hand I'd take off, no more threats of doing it no more planning it out. I'd just leave. You know what gets me the most is when people say they do care but all they seem to do is say the wrong things and piss you off more. Maybe someone does care about me, but at this point I feel like its just not enough. You know it's like people won't help you unless you ask but when you don't........I might as well go off and just make myself dissapear. You know what I don't want to do this to myself anymore. Depress myself beyond belief...maybe I'm beyond help. I mean no one can help me, why would they? Maybe I'm being pessimistic, maybe I'm being cynical, but maybe I'm telling the truth. No one likes to believe it but we're all on our own. We came here alone, we'll leave here alone. Why try and hold onto fake bonds and relationships that give you the idea that you're not alone. Everytime I get into an argument with Brian I feel it, I defenitely feel like damn this is it; I'm on my own. I think I've gone over the deep end because I'm finding it hard to believe that there is such a thing called love. I dunno I shouldn't be saying this stuff because I'm probably just angry and overreacting. Whatever, don't read this and think on it. I'm just frustrated with my life and the people in it.
BeCapturedGoFree
